Marauders
by Javiia
Summary: Notes passed between the Marauders during their 5th year. Rated for some swearing and minor sexual innuendo's. SBRL or RLSB, not JPLE. Disclaimer on profile.
1. Just Daydreaming!

Alright..

First let me explain about the 4 way parchments. Basically they are 4 pieces of parchment magically connected. Each parchment is split into 4 sections, and each section connects with a certain person's parchment. Sirius is top left corner, Remus top right, James bottom left and Peter bottom right. So for example, if Sirius wants to talk to James and only James, he would write in the bottom left corner, for James to reply he would write in the top left corner. **BUT** if you wished to speak to all the Marauders at the same time, the corner that is allocated as 'yours' connects to all parchments. So if Peter wanted to talk to everyone, he would write in the bottom right corner. The writing appears in the corner of the person who wrote to you, so if Peter wrote to Remus, the writing would appear on the bottom right corner of Remus' parchment. The parchment is automatically wiped at the end of a conversation.  If you have any questions email me.  I will try to update every week, but I'm not sure if I can, what with all the assignments due in and stuff.  I will also try to respond to any reviews.  So with that covered.... on with the show!

_**TUESDAY:**_

CHARMS:

I'm bored.

**That's nice Wormy.**

I'm so bored I can't even be bothered writing in 3rd person.

_Is it just me or does Pads look like he's paying attention?_

He does!

**That's not right.**

No it's not! That's just weird.

_Maybe…maybe he's seen the light?_

**Moons, you do realise you're talking about Padfoot don't you.**

_I know, but…_

HOLY CRAP!!!!! IS HE TAKING NOTES!?!?!?!?!

**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! PADFOOT COME BACK TO ME!!!!!!!! PADFOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

_Calm down mate! I'm sure there's a reason!_

And you'd be right Moon-Baby. Seen the light. Bah!

*snickers*

shut it Worm.

**Sirius!!! You've come back to me!!!!!! *hugs***

James you prick I never went anywhere!

_What were you doing?! We thought you were taking notes!!!_

Calm down!!!! I was only daydreaming!!!!

**Well it was pretty intense daydreaming. You were staring at the parchment and WRITING!**

I swear!!! I was only daydreaming!!!!!!

_hmm…_

I believe you.

Thanks Worm. Knew I could count on you!

Nice drawing by the way, I didn't know you were an artist.

WHAT!!!!!

**HAHA! You were drawing on the 4 way!!!!**

_So who's the drawing of?_

(to Peter) WHAT THE HELL!!!!! WHY DID YOU BRING THAT UP HERE!!!!!

There's no bloody space to write to you mate. And it's such a nice picture I didn't want to defile it!

_Who's the lucky girl?_

**Or not so lucky, I mean it IS Padfoot.**

Shut up Potter.

_C'mon Petey! You can't leave us in the dark!_

I'm sure it doesn't mean anything. I was just surprised at how well Sirius can draw.

**You must've had lots of practice.**

Prongs?

**Yea?**

SHUT UP!

**Touched a nerve there did I?**

_Can we see the rest of your drawings?_

No.

Maybe I should show them this drawing then. It's such a lovely piece of art, it should bless more then two pairs of eyes before it's wiped.

NO!

**Why not Pads?**

_Do we know her?_

You'll take it the wrong way.

**It's not EVANS is it!!!!!!!!!!**

No, Jamie, it's not Evans.

**Well who is it?**

_James, the world does not revolve around Lily._

**Li-li-li-**

Good job mate, you made him hyperventilate.

**LILY!!!!!! SINCE WHEN DO YOU CALL HER LILY??**

_I've known her for 5yrs mate. I think I can call her Lily._

Mr. Padfoot would like to comment that there has been a lot of shouting in current conversation.

_Mr. Moony inquires as to whom mr. Padfoot spent the last half hour drawing._

Shut up Remus.

What? No Remy-poo?

_I'm hurt Sirius._

WHEN have I called you Remy-poo?

**Well there was Rem, Remy, Remykins,**

There was Moony-Woony-Kins once.

_Never call me that._

**Moonshine, Rem-Rem,**

Boony once.

**Boony?**

Book/Moony.

**Rems…**

Remsie…

_Remsikins…_

Ok, now you're just repeating yourself.

**We could never run out of your nicknames for Remus. If they were food, no-one would ever go hungry.**

_Moondrop, Moonglass, Ambermoon,_

Rembabe, Remsies,

**See?**

Mr. Padfoot requests that the dog-bashing stops as he gets your point. He would also like to state that he hasn't sunk as low as REMY-POO yet.

_Mr. Moony would like to point out the operative word: yet._

Mr. Wormtail shudders at the thought of what other names he might make up.

**Mr. Prongs joins in the shuddering and would like to state the bell just went. The class is officially over.**

A scuffle immediately ensued, as James and Remus tried to get the drawing before Sirius wiped it.

"HA!" Sirius crowed, triumphant.

"Sirius, you're sitting on my arm."

"Sorry, Rem!"

"See? He never calls you Remus!"

"Shut it James."

"So when do we get to see the rest of the drawings?"

"I said shut it."


	2. Mr Moony's Timetable

MUGGLE STUDIES/ARITHMANCY:

_(between Peter and Sirius)_

Mr. Wormtail requests mr. Padfoot's attention.

Mr. Padfoot inquires as to what mr. Wormtail wants.

Mr. Wormtail inquires as to why mr. Padfoot drew mr. Moony in previous Charms lesson.

Mr. Padfoot states that he has drawn everyone in Charms class at least once. He would also like to add that Charms is boring.

Mr. Wormtail inquires as to where the rest of the drawings are.

Mr. Padfoot states that he has hidden them well. Mr. Wormtail will never find them.

Mr. Wormtail states that perhaps he may not, but mr. Prongs and mr. Moony might.

Mr. Padfoot would like to reiterate that the drawings are well hidden. NO-ONE will find them.

Mr. Wormtail assures mr. Padfoot that someone will find them. He also inquires as to why no-one has ever seen them before.

Mr. Padfoot would like to state that he can have one aspect of himself hidden.

Mr. Wormtail wonders how many other secrets mr. Padfoot is hiding.

_(to all)_

**Mr. Prongs would like to inquire as to where mr. Moony is.**

Mr. Padfoot would like to state that Mr. Moony is currently in Arithmancy, he does not have this class with us.

Mr. Wormtail would like to inquire as to how mr. Padfoot knows this, it is our first Muggle Studies lesson this year.

Mr. Padfoot would like to state that mr. Moony only shares 4 classes with us this year, Transfig., Charms, DADA and Potions.

**Mr. Prongs inquires as to how in the HELL mr. Padfoot knows this, as timetables were handed out YESTERDAY!**

_Mr. Moony would also like to inquire as to how mr. Padfoot knows mr. Moony's timetable better then he does. He would like to add that he is hurt that it took mr. Prongs so long to realise mr. Moony was not sharing his class._

Mr. Padfoot states that he was merely surprised at how few classes he shared with mr. Moony, and that forced him to remember. That does not mean he knows mr. Moony's timetable.

Mr. Wormtail inquires what mr. Moony's next lesson is.

Mr. Padfoot would like to state that mr. Moony's next lesson is break.

_Mr. Moony would like to smack mr. Wormtail's head for not seeing that coming, and mr. Padfoot's for stating the obvious._

**Mr. Prongs inquires what mr. Moony's lesson after break is.**

Mr. Padfoot would like to state that it is Transfig.

**Mr. Prongs would like to state that mr. Padfoot does know mr. Moony's timetable.**

Mr. Wormtail would like to state that mr. Moony shares Transfig. with mr. Padfoot, as stated above.

_Mr. Moony would like to state that now mr. Prongs deserves a smack on the head._

_(to Sirius)_Mr. Wormtail wishes to know whether mr. Padfoot's knowledge of mr. Moony's timetable has anything to do with the other secrets mr. Padfoot is hiding.

_(to Peter)_I DO NOT KNOW MOONY'S TIMETABLE!!!! AND THERE ARE VERY FEW THINGS I HAVE NOT TOLD YOU – _NONE ARE IMPORTANT!_

**Mr. Prongs would like to state that mr. Padfoot is too familiar with mr. Moony's timetable for his taste.**

_(to Sirius)_Mr. Wormtail would like to contradict all of mr. Padfoot's previous statement, and would like to add that if it was not important mr. Padfoot would not have shouted.

_Mr. Moony agrees with above statement. He would also like to inquire as to WHO mr. Padfoot was drawing._

Mr. Wormtail would like to state that it is not important, as mr. Padfoot apparently regularly draws in Charms.

**Mr. Prongs would like to state that his interest has been roused as mr. Padfoot was so protective over the drawing.**

_Mr. Moony agrees with mr. Prongs (again) and would like to inquire as to why mr. Padfoot is not writing. It has been nearly 10 mins since his last statement._

Mr. Wormtail remains firm on the fact that mr. Padfoot's drawing was unimportant, but would like to state that it has really been about 5 mins since his last statement. He was conversing with mr. Wormtail.

**Mr. Prongs would like to inquire as to what mr. Wormtail said to make mr. Padfoot sulk for so long.**

Mr. Wormtail disagreed with mr. Padfoot.

_(to Sirius) What's up? What'd Pete say?_

_(to Sirius)_** Mr. Prongs inquires as to what is mr. Padfoot's problem.**

_(to Sirius)_ Mr. Padfoot's lack of response has led mr. Wormtail to believe that his assumptions are correct.

_(to all)_ THERE'S THE BELL, THANK GOD!!!

i would like to thank TonksxMoony, moonfoot13 and TimeAndRhythmDoesIndeedSleep for reviewing - especially TimeAndRhythmDoesIndeedSleep for being my first reviewer ever. I have no inclination at all towards stopping this (more to do with the fact that i hate leaving things unfinished), but i probably won't be updating next week 'cause of school. Sorry about that.


	3. Marauder's Timetable

Remus Sirius James/Peter  
Monday  
9.00 Ancient Runes History of Magic History of Magic  
9.50 Herbology Astronomy Astronomy  
10.40 Break Break Break  
10.55 DADA DADA DADA  
11.45 DADA DADA DADA  
12.35 Lunch Lunch Lunch  
1.25 Spare Spare Divination  
2.15 Spare Spare Divination  
11.30 pm Spare Astronomy Astronomy  
12.20 am Spare Astronomy Astronomy

Tuesday  
9.00 Charms Charms Charms  
9.50 Arithmancy Muggle Studies Muggle Studies  
10.40 Break Break Break  
10.55 Transfiguration Transfiguration Transfiguration  
11.45 Transfiguration Transfiguration Transfiguration  
12.35 Lunch Lunch Lunch  
1.25 Potions Potions Potions  
2.15 Potions Potions Potions

Wednesday  
9.00 Herbology History of Magic History of Magic  
9.50 Herbology History of Magic History of Magic  
10.40 Break Break Break  
10.55 Ancient Runes Muggle Studies Muggle Studies  
11.45 Ancient Runes Muggle Studies Muggle Studies  
12.35 Lunch Lunch Lunch  
1.25 Muggle Studies CoMC Divination  
2.15 History of Magic Herbology Herbology

Thursday  
9.00 Spare Spare Spare  
9.50 Potions Potions Potions  
10.40 Break Break Break  
10.55 Charms Charms Charms  
11.45 Charms Charms Charms  
12.35 Lunch Lunch Lunch  
1.25 Transfiguration Transfiguration Transfiguration  
2.15 DADA DADA DADA

Friday  
9.00 Arithmancy Herbology Herbology  
9.50 Arithmancy Herbology Herbology  
10.40 Break Break Break  
10.55 Muggle Studies CoMC Spare  
11.45 Muggle Studies CoMC Spare  
12.35 Lunch Lunch Lunch  
1.25 History of Magic Spare Spare  
2.15 History of Magic Spare Spare

Here's a timetable, sorry it's a bit messy. You need it to understand the next chapter.


	4. I love Thursdays!

_**THURSDAY:**_

BREAKFAST:

It was still the first week of school, though it was Thursday. Peter and James entered the Great Hall after finally giving up on the thought of having a shower that morning. Remus was already at the table, as he had given up a while ago. When Sirius was in the shower nothing could get him out.

Mornings were obviously not a good time for the Marauders. They wore bleary eyes, crumpled clothes, and an obvious disregard for the food piled in front of them. In fact, Peter looked like he was about to fall asleep on James' shoulder, while James was eyeing a stack of toast, obviously wondering whether it was worth reaching the few inches, but decided that he would rather not get butter on his sleeves*.

Finally Remus seemed to come to his senses and started pouring himself some coffee. Normally he could not abide the stuff, but today was an exception. He was tired. Three things happened when he reached for the coffee pot, James pitched forward into a plate of scrambled eggs, fast asleep; Sirius opened the doors with a bang, making everyone jump, which caused Remus to spill the coffee into the plate of eggs his friend's head currently occupied.

"OW!!!!!!!!! BLOODY HELL REMUS!!!!!!"

"Sorry."

"THAT HURT!!!!!!"

"Sorry." Remus couldn't help but scowl. Because of James (Sirius), Remus now had no way to wake himself up.

"What's up with him?"

"WHO CARES!??!!!??!!!??! MY _HEAD_ IS _BURNED_!!!!!"

"Who?"

"H'lo Ambermoon, Wormy. Prongs! You got your shower after all!"

"BASTARD!"

"Him." Peter was now glaring suspiciously at Sirius, who was eating coffee-covered scrambled eggs out of the dish.

"What about him. He's Sirius."

"He's _happy_. It's too early to be _happy_."

"Wormy, Wormy, Wormy. It's never too early to be happy."

"It is when it's you. You're worse then James in the morning." Remus was now also glaring at Sirius, who, looking supremely unconcerned, dumped a pitcher of milk over James' head, apparently to "cool the coffee!"

"See, Remus thinks so too. What's up."

"It's Thursday."

"What?"

"It's Thursday!" He was now helping himself to a sausage and a piece of toast – at the same time.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Sirius' comments about Thursday had even caused James to stop squawking.

"I like Thursdays. Brilliant day."

"You disliked them last year. Thursday was your worst day."

"Ah but Remy! Thursday's the day before Friday!"

"That's why you hated them."

"Yea, and say, don't spray." James was brushing a disgusting looking combination of bread, spit and sausage off his jumper, it having jumped out of Sirius' mouth on every 'B', 'TH' and 'D'.

"Why do you like Thursday?"

"What's not to like Wormy! It's the day before Friday! We have our only spare together! Then we have Potions, Charms, Transfig., and DADA!"

"All subjects we share with Slytherin's!"

"What about Monday?"

"Pete, why do you want to know what days Sirius likes?"

"Remus, drink your coffee. Caffeine addict."

"I AM NOT ADDICTED TO CAFFEINE!!!!"

"Sure you're not Rem-Baby. You just need a pick-me-up." While talking, Sirius poured Remus his coffee, making it just the way he liked. He also spread marmalade on some toast and placed it on James' plate, and loaded Remus' with eggs, bacon, sausages, tomatoes, and mushrooms, and then stirred about a litre of honey into a bowl of porridge before placing it next to the plate barely visible through the amount of protein loaded onto it. Remus had a huge appetite after his morning coffee. It was one of the few times he ate during the day.

"A wake-me-up you mean."

"Just drink. So Sirius, Monday?"

"uh… After break it's good. After lunch it's great."

"And Tuesday?"

"Almost as good as Monday!"

"What about Wednesday?"

"No, don't like Wednesday."

"At least the world hasn't fallen on its face yet."

"Drink. Friday?"

"…It's quite good?"

"Quite good? Mate, are you mad? You have double Herbology, double CoMC, then a DOUBLE SPARE with ME and PETE!"

"Not to mention that it's the last day of the week!"

"DRINK!"

"I like Thursdays. No, I _love_ Thursdays. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with liking Thursday!"

"No, no. Your quite right. Nothing wrong with liking Thursday. What do you want to do with our spare?"

"um, how about CHANGE? I am _soaked_."

And the conversation moved onto more mundane things, the incident almost entirely forgotten, put down as one of those things that happen when Sirius was in a mood. Peter didn't forget though. The incident wasn't put down as a "Sirius-ism". It was analysed thoroughly before being filed away for future reference. And Sirius couldn't help but wonder whether he had said more then he thought he had.

* * *

*"butter on my cuffs" is a line from _"The Importance of Being Earnest"._

Snaps to whoever tells me how many times the word "Thursday" appears in this text!

It's a bit shorter then the last two, but it's kinda important. To understand you really need to read the timetable that is the previous chapter.

Thankyou again to TonksxMoony, moonfoot13, and TimeAndRhythmDoesIndeedSleep for reviewing every chapter (all positive :D), and for umbridgeskitty (anonymous), Asuka Hyuuga, and Feasie for leaving such positive reviews! And for all those people who added this to their watch/alerts list (i lost your names, sorry).

Again, i might not update next week (this time I actually might not), but if I don't you will have 2 (maybe 3) chapters the week after.

cio!


	5. To Catch a FireBird

CHARMS:

**Did you see her at break!**

Yup. She's an angel alright.

_Aww, you're just pissed 'cause she hexed you instead of James._

MY HAIR LOOKS LIKE SNIVELY'S!!!!!!

No, it just looks wet.

**People! Focus!**

_Nah, I'd rather torment Siri._

**Come on!!!!! You lot are supposed to be my friends right?**

Guilt tripping isn't going to work.

Not with his hair like that anyway.

_You know, if that doesn't come out…_

But it's going to come out. Right?

Pads, she wet your hair.

I CAN'T DRY IT!

**Guys. Friends?**

_Yea mate, we're friends._

No. We're not.

**So after all I've done for you, endangering my life becoming an ****illegal**** Animagus- **

_No. Don't even go there._

**-JUST so I could be with you on the full moon, helping you pass 5 years of school-**

I could have done it without you.

Yea, you got Rem.

**-pranking with you-**

_Okay, we've got it. You've sacrificed tonnes just to be our friend._

**You're going to leave me to lose the love of my life, my one chance at happiness, my-**

Your "one chance at happiness" made me look like SNIVELUS!!!!!

_Hmm…_

What.

*suspicious glare*

Same as Worm.

**Moony… I accepted you, even became an Animagus – just for you. I was always there after the transformations, helping bandage you, bringing you sweets, helping to wrap ban- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

MERLIN that's funny!

YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU BLOODY BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_C'mon, you look…_

LIKE SODDING SNAPE!!!!!!!!

Naw, like…

YOU GAVE ME HIS NOSE!!!! YOU _BASTARD_ REMUS!!!!!!!!!

**PADS!!!!! YOU MADE LILY LAUGH!!!!**

I'LL BLOODY HEX HER!!!!!!!!

**I mean, Lily likes it.**

_She must think it looks fetching!_

SNIVILUS DOES NOT LOOK GOOD ON ANYONE!!!!!!

**Well don't take it out on Lil, she didn't do anything!**

NO, NOT A THING! SHE ONLY GAVE ME SNAPE HAIR AND THE BLOODY IDEA TO MOONY!

He STILL calls you Moony.

**Well it was Remus as much as I was Lily!**

_Yup, you're a great friend James._

**Look, just undo it. I know you know how to do both charms.**

_One charm one hex._

Please?

YAY!!! THANKYOU!!!!

Never mind that it was him who did it in the first place.

_Shut up._

**Look, can you PLEASE-**

Alright, we'll help you get your dragon.

**She's not a dragon. She's…**

A Chimaera?

Too true.

**She's… sweet, and beautiful, and fiery, and-**

Perfect in every way, shape and form?

_A phoenix?_

**No, she's… a fire-bird.**

a.k.a a phoenix.

**No. She's a fire-bird. There's only one of her.**

Probably for the good of mankind.

_Only the men though, the women are fine._

'S why I put mankind.

**Please**_**.**_** I really need your help.**

Well, she seemed to like the Snape thing well enough…

_And she likes him. They're quite good friends._

Anything's worth a shot.

**You lot are bastards, anyone ever tell you that?**

Regularly.

We're just trying to help you catch your chi- fire-bird.

_mm-hm. __Fire-bird__._

…**you really think this might do it?**

Female minds are strange places. Very strange indeed.

Who knows how they work!

_Not me, that's for sure._

**Hmmm….**

_Bell._

And as James wandered away contemplating the idea his three 'friends' had planted into his head, Sirius shook his head in amazement.

"You'd think he'd've learned not to trust us by now."

"At least where Evans is concerned, he doesn't trust us any other time."

"Don't you two feel just the slightest bit bad?"

"Pete, if he's stupid enough to believe that dressing up as Snivellus will help him get his '_Fire-bird_' he deserves to be humiliated."

"Siri's right. He's not in his right mind. But then when Evans is concerned he never is."

"C'mon, I _have_ to see how this turns out."

"You're a cruel bastard Black."

"Hey, you're the one who planted the idea!"

"If you two don't hurry up we're going to miss it."

* * *

A chimaera is "a fire-breathing female monster with a lion's head, a goat's body, and a serpent's tail." – Oxford Dictionary

Sorry it's short, school 'nd all.

Snaps to MopCat and WorldBmine (even though i got two different answers), and thankyou to TimeAndRhythmDoesIndeedSleep, Umbridgeskitty, and moonfoot13, and to MopCat, WorldBmine, and BLAHBLOT. Thanyou for all the positive reviews, I'm glad you like it!


	6. Black Love

It was now a few weeks into the first term. Peter had successfully found Sirius' stack of drawings (mainly due to a few well-placed tickling charms). After looking at the collection of drawings, he continued to watch Sirius and Remus more carefully. Although he had said nothing of the conclusions he had drawn thus far, after he experienced a melancholy Sirius staring into a fire, he decided it was well past time to confront his canine friend.

_**TUESDAY:**_

CHARMS:

You're in love with him.

What?!? Who?!?

*raises eyebrow*

Who!?!

*looks to left pointedly*

...

you're joking right? Haha, very funny. Don't ever do that again, you gave me a heart attack.

Not joking Sirius.

…

you're serious. You think I'm in love with REMUS?!

No.

Good.

I know you are.

WHAT!?

It's so obvious.

Well it can't be 'cause you're WRONG!

You draw him, 

I draw EVERYONE!

Him more then most. You're always staring at him,

He always sits in front of me!!

Would you let me finish?! Contradict me when I'm done!

Good. You draw him, stare at him, make up nicknames for him, you always need to know where he is, and panic when you don't, nothing stops you from going with him on a full moon, and I mean NOTHING. When he's in the hospital wing madam Pomfrey literally has to throw you out and lock the door so you don't sneak back in in the middle of the night, you always take his side and stick up for him, you're waaaaay protective, you always listen to what he says, if he compliments you you're on a high for the rest of the day, the slightest criticism makes you depressed for a week. When he's sad or sick you do ANYTHING to make him feel better, you touch him as much as possible, he's the only one who can get you out of bed in the morning without throwing a bucket of water on you and you CONSTANTLY flirt with him.

Are you done yet?

I've got plenty more to say, but you can start contradicting me now.

I draw everyone and he always sits in front of me in class. If you sat in front of me I'd stare at you.

Not in the same way. And you have more drawings of him then of anyone else, I've looked.

He's got good bone structure.

And he's good looking?

If you were into guys.

Which you are.

WHAT! NO I'M NOT!

Yes you are.

WHERE did you get THAT from!?!?

When I said you're in love with him you didn't question the 'him' part, only the 'love' part.

I QUESTIONED ALL OF IT!!!!!

Whatever. Anything else?

Yes, actually. I have nicknames for all you guys. I DON'T need to know where he is, he's his own person. I just worry because the Slytherin's love picking on him more then anyone else. Which is also what I assume you were talking about with the 'protective' thing?

Yes, but not just Slytherin's. You're protective of him around everyone, especially girls and gays. People who look like they're flirting with him. Even 'round James and me sometimes, and you know we'd never be interested in him that way.

Bullshit.

It's true. And James and I have a lot less nicknames then Remus does, and none of them have anything to do with flowers, stars or anything that sounds remotely like pillow-talk, and James was right. You hardly ever call him 'Remus' or 'Moony', only your nicknames for him.

No I don't. I'll prove it to you. The moon thing I don't want him to half kill himself, and madam Pomfrey doesn't have to throw me out! That's ridiculous. The rest you're over exaggerating.

Madam Pomfrey does have to throw you out, and you know it. And I'm not over exaggerating.

Yes you are Peter, you're joining dots that don't exist.

You said his name last night.

Huh?

While you were sleeping.

No I didn't!

It was just a little sigh, you still said it.

No I didn't! I'm not in love with Remus!

Mr. Wormtail thinks mr. Padfoot is in denial.

Mr. Padfoot thinks mr. Wormtail is a prick! Mr. Padfoot holds nothing other then platonic affection for mr. Moony

Learn that of Moony?

Doesn't mean anything!


	7. Halo of Flames

MUGGLE STUDIES/ARITHMANCY:

**What were you lot scribbling about in Charms?**

_Notes. Yes, I guess you lot will borrow them._

Nothing.

**Aww now I'm interested!**

Don't worry, it was nothing.

_What about Pads? Where's he?_

Sulking.

_Again?_

**Apparently. Don't you want to know what I was doing?**

_What were you doing during Charms, James?_

Staring at Evans?

**She looks so gorgeous when she writes. She bites her lip in just this way, and her ink-stained hands…**

_Hair next?_

Or the way she looks at the teacher?

_Or the way she scrunches her delicate shoulders just so, and the light shows off the frosting of freckles dusted across her cute nose?_

Or how her hair actually looks like a halo of flames?

_So befitting her personality…_

**Shut up. Just because neither of you have felt the effects of unrequited love!**

Not sure I want to, hey Moon!

_Erm… yea, not at all!_

*narrows eyes* what.

_What what?_

**See, whenever you get like Sirius we know you're hiding something.**

_I'm not acting like Pads!_

Yes you are. The Remus we know would give a sarcastic remark or start talking about how true love is subtle-

**-not agree with Pete. Pad's would do that.**

_Um… I'm really not acting like Sirius._

You really are.

**Hey, how do you know what true love is like?**

_Uh… I just… I dunno, I watch people, and see what works and what doesn't, it's-_

REM'S IN LOVE!!!!!!!  
_No, I'm really not. I told you, I read a lot, and I observe people. It's the only reason I know anything about love, and even then it's only my opinion._

…

**I really can't tell if you're lying or not.**

Me either.

**But if you haven't ever experienced love…**

…

_yes?_

**HOW CAN YOU TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!!!!!!**

Oops.

**Maybe I am in love! Maybe I just express it differently!**

_If I know nothing else, I know this. Love is forever._

**The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.**

So shouldn't Pad's be the wisest man in the world?

_How do you know Shakespeare?_

**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! IT'S SO TRUE!!!!!!**

_Answer my question now._

**I don't. Well I might. What's Shakespeare?**

_Where did you learn that then?_

**Sirius. He said it to me last week. I said the same thing Pete did.**

_Now we all know that James is a fool, not a wise man._

**Nah, you're just jealous.**

Leave him alone. Remus is wiser then you can ever be.

**Back from the dead?**

Remus?

It's his name.

REMUS?

Yes, REMUS is his name.

_What are you getting at Pete?_

Nothing. Don't worry.

**He's not calling you any of his ridiculous nicknames.**

James, I swear you have the subtlety of a troll.

_He's a Gryffindor through and through._

**What's that supposed to mean?!**

Only that you have no deeper levels?

_You wear your heart on your sleeve?_

You have NO SUBTLETY!?

**What is this, pick on James day?**

"What is this, pick on Remus day?"

"REMUS!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"The bell went ages ago. It's nearly time for Transfig. Did you lot honestly not see that your whole class has left?"

"We missed break?"

"Don't whine. It's your own fault."

"I can whine better then you ever will, _deer_ James."

"Awful pun."  
"Hey Rem?"

"Pete?"

"What's Shakespeare?"

* * *

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, here are two chapters for you!

And I have realized I haven't placed a disclaimer on any of my stories, it is included in my profile.


	8. I Do

It was two weeks after Peter had confronted Sirius about his feelings towards Remus, and the result of that was that Sirius had stopped calling Remus his nicknames. It was now either 'Remus', 'Moony', and occasionally 'Moon' or 'Rem'. This left Sirius feeling utterly miserable, Remus confused, hurt and withdrawn, but trying not to react too much, and James wondering what on Earth his two friends had fought about. It was not spoken of save between Peter and Sirius. Peter of course knew exactly what was happening, Sirius was trying to prove that he didn't need to call Remus "All sorts of ridiculous nicknames", and had tried to tell Sirius to stop, but the only thing he achieved was a glare. But now Sirius was becoming more and more confused, and he began to pay less attention to other aspects of his life. He was now living to analyse his feelings, urges and emotions.

_**TUESDAY:**_

TRANSFIGURATION:

I do.

**Huh?**

I do.

**Padfoot WHAT are you talking about?**

Holy fuck I DO!!!!!!!!!!

…

**maybe if you didn't shout that out in the middle of transfig.**

_Pads what the hell?_

I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**DO WHAT?!?!**

_DO WHAT?!?!_

I do!!!!!!

W_e're not going to get anything out of him are we?_

**Don't look like it.**

_Why didn't McGonagall give him detention?_

I do…

**Padfoot either tell us or shut up.**

…

…

_I don't think he's going to tell us._

**Probably not.**

_So why didn't he get detention?_

**Because… I really have no idea!**

_hmm…_

**That's not fair! I don't answer a question and I get detention but he can yell in class and not even a point is taken off!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

_Prongs, you fell asleep in class, and then tried to bluff through the question by talking about the correct wrist motion of the levitation charm._

**I was comparing it to the wrist motion. Everything is in the wrist.**

_Sure Prongs, sure._

**Shut up. He shouted in class.**

_I know, it's odd._

**Him shouting in class?**

_Not getting detention._

**Tell me about it.**

**Look how happy he is…**

_yea… insane but happy. Hey Prongs-_

…

**yea?**

_Never mind… it was a stupid question._

**Are you worried I'm going to reject you? Like with the lycanthropy thing? You're so dense sometimes.**

_Thankyou, I just loooooove being called __dense__._

**Well you are! So what were you going to ask?**

_Nothing. Don't worry._

Nah, what were you going to ask?

**PADFOOT! Rejoined the land of the living?**

_What's up with the "I Do"'s?_

nothing. What were you going to ask Prongs?

_Doesn't matter. Really._

**3…**

_Huh?_

**2…**

Bell.

**1…**

1…

_oh._

"Mr. Black? Stay behind after class. The rest of you dismissed."

"_There's_ the detention!"

"Shut up James."


	9. Epiphany

POTIONS:

**Mr. Prongs wishes to inquire as to what made mr. Padfoot so deliriously happy in previous transfiguration lesson.**

Mr. Padfoot kindly requests for mr. Prongs to shove it, as it is none of his business.

**Mr. Prongs regretfully informs mr. Padfoot that he cannot 'shove it' as he is currently in the middle of a potions lesson and wishes to know what is bothering his best mate.**

Mr. Padfoot is touched by mr. Prongs' concern, but restates that it is none of his business.

**Mr. Prongs insists it is his business as it involves mr. Padfoot.**

Mr. Padfoot would like to inquire as to why it is mr. Prongs' business if it does not concern him.

**Mr. Prongs would like to inform mr. Padfoot that if it concerns mr. Padfoot it concerns mr. Prongs, as mr. Padfoot is mr. Prongs' other half.**

Mr. Padfoot wishes to protest the above statement, as mr. Prongs' other half is clearly miss Evans.

**Mr. Prongs inquires as to who mr. Padfoot's other half is.**

Mr. Padfoot again informs mr. Prongs to shove it.

**Mr. Prongs inquires as to whether he has touched a nerve.**

Mr. Padfoot wishes to inform mr. Prongs that this is the end of the conversation.

**Mr. Prongs protests that statement, as he has more questions for mr. Padfoot to answer.**

**Mr. Prongs wishes to inform mr. Padfoot that he is getting tired of mr. Padfoot's attempts to ignore him, and requests that mr. Padfoot stops before mr. Prongs is forced to take unnecessary action.**

Mr. Padfoot would like to inform mr. Prongs that all action is unnecessary if mr. Prongs respects mr. Padfoot's wishes.

**Mr. Prongs inquires as to whether the subject of 'other halves' is what caused mr. Padfoot to shout "holy fuck I DO!" in McGonagall's class.**

Mr. Padfoot had an epiphany. That is all he is willing to say on that matter.

**Mr. Prongs inquires as to whether said epiphany had anything to do with one mr. Moony.**

Mr. Padfoot wishes to inquire as to how mr. Prongs came to that conclusion.

**Mr. Prongs inquires as to the nature of the epiphany.**

Mr. Padfoot, again, requests that mr. Prongs shoves it.

**Mr. Prongs, again, inquires as to whether he has touched a nerve.**

Mr. Padfoot, again, states this conversation is closed.

Mr. Padfoot inquires as to how mr. Prongs came to the conclusion of Moony.

**Mr. Prongs would like to state that he has known mr. Padfoot has harboured affection for mr. Moony for a while now.**

Mr. Padfoot would like to state that he has known too.

**Mr. Prongs inquires as to whether mr. Moony is the subject of mr. Padfoot's epiphany.**

Mr. Padfoot states that yes, mr. Moony is the subject of said epiphany.

**Mr. Prongs again inquires as to the realisation brought by mr. Padfoot's epiphany.**

Mr. Padfoot is hopelessly, irrevocably, unintentionally, irretrievably, 100% in love with mr. Moony.

**Mr. Prongs says finally. It's been obvious for ages now.**

Hmph, Can we work now?

**Pfft. If we must.**

**Mr. Prongs inquires as to why mr. Padfoot wrote "I do" on the parchment when he did not wish to discuss it.**

Mr. Padfoot informs mr. Prongs that it was an accident, that mr. Padfoot wanted to see how it looked on paper. He completely forgot that it was the 4 way parchment.

**Mr. Prongs inquires as to why mr. Padfoot wrote "I do" and not "I love him", or "Sirius Black loves Remus Lupin with all his heart, soul, breath, mind and body", or "SB hart RL" or something equally ridiculous.**

Mr. Padfoot would firstly like to inquire as to what mr. Prongs is on, and secondly as to what he believes mr. Padfoot to be – a love struck 12yr old girl?

**Mr. Prongs states that he was simply inquiring as to why "I do" as opposed to anything with the word "love" in it.**

Mr. Padfoot states that it was because mr. Padfoot was inquiring to himself whether he loved a certain mr. Moony, and when he discovered the answer was "yes, I do" he felt the need to write his answer to make sure.

**Mr. Prongs would like to state that as romantic as that may be, mr. Padfoot needs some new parchment if the only sheet he has is the 4 way. Also if mr. Padfoot wants to keep his affection secret.**

Mr. Padfoot would like to inform mr. Prongs that if he breathes a word to anyone he will be hanging from the astronomy tower by his balls. Mr. Padfoot would also like to inquire as to what the rest of the parchment would be for if not expressing hidden and unrequited love.

**Mr. Prongs assures mr. Padfoot that he will not tell a soul, and would like to inform mr. Padfoot that class notes are sometimes useful. Like for OWL's. Mr. Prongs would also like to inquire as to if mr. Padfoot swallowed mr. Moony's thesaurus.**

Mr. Padfoot states that he can get Transfig. notes off mr. Moony. Mr. Padfoot also objects to mr. Prongs' thesaurus comment, as mr. Padfoot has a naturally large vocabulary and does not need the help of a book to think up words.

**Mr. Prongs would like to inform mr. Padfoot that he cannot get notes off mr. Moony, as mr. Moony didn't take them. Mr. Wormtail took them instead, which is why he did not join in our conversation, mr. Moony had his 4 way parchment. Not that mr. Prongs expects mr. Padfoot to know this, as mr. Padfoot spent the majority of the lesson in blissful oblivion regarding his epiphany.**

PETER took notes?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! We're DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Guys? The bell just went."

"Thanks Pete. Sirius get up, it's not that bad."


	10. My Rules, NOT YOURS!

It was the next day. Sirius had refused to answer any questions about what his exclamation in Transfiguration was about. Sick of being harassed by Gryffindor (word had spread quickly) and of James' knowing glances, the sable-haired Marauder had been forced to retire early.

_**WEDNESDAY:**_

HISTORY OF MAGIC/HERBOLOGY: - Remus not joining in – he's in HERBOLOGY

Padfoot: pleeeeeeeeeeease tell me what yesterday was about!

You were right.

Huh?

You were right. I do love Moony.

I know. You figured out yesterday?

I thought it was a crush, not LOVE.

What are you going to do about it?

Um, gee, let me think… how about NOTHING.

*shakes head* does James know?

Yea, he figured it out.

_(to all)_

Sirius thinks he's going to do nothing.

**About what?**

Remus.

Um… Rem's parchment is connected.

He's in Herbology.

Yea, but this would be the one day they don't do practical work and he gets bored.

No, they're trying to re-pot the venomous tentacular.

You planned this.

Nope!

**Pete, I think you did.**

Yea, but having you already know was a bonus.

Lets just do this – I'm not doing anything about it.

**I disagree**

As do I.

**All in favour of Sirius doing something about his hopeless crush on one of his best friends?**

I.

**I.**

No.

**Yes.**

My love life, my rules.

But rules are made to be broken!

**Haha Sirius, you're the one that made that part of the code!**

No contradicting it!

I'm not doing anything and you can't make me.

I beg to differ.

Without resorting to illegal measures?

I concur.

**But we can do something about it!**

Not if you don't want to be hanging from the astronomy tower by your balls.

Ah, but you'd only do it if you were unhappy with the result.

**No, he'd do it anyway.**

Yea..

See! Nothing doing.

**We could get Remus to do it!**

Hmm…

WHAT!?!?!?!?

Oh Merlin.

He likes me?!

Uh, we don't know…

**But that's not what I meant anyway.**

Oh.

What did you mean? Plant the idea in his head?

Of me liking him?

**About liking guys.**

Should be fun anyway.

Don't.

**But Sirius…**

No. I'll do something about it when I want to, when I'm ready.

Are you afraid he's going to reject you?

I'm afraid it's going to make it weird between us.

**He wont let it. He's not stupid enough to let something as tiny as sexual preferences ruin your friendship.**

Just please leave it up to me.

James?

**Fine.**

Another thing:

Yea?

Are you going to start talking to him again?

Yea, I guess it's kinda pointless now.

**Sirius, it was always pointless.**

Shutup. Leave me my delusions.

_(to James) _We still doing the gay thing?

_(to Peter) _**Maybe we shouldn't, respect his wishes 'nd all.**

_(to James)_ You serious?

_(to Peter)_ **'Course not! It'll be awesome!!!**


	11. James DOESN'T like the Astronomy Tower

MUGGLE STUDIES/ANCIENT RUNES:

_(between Remus and James)_

_James?_

**Yea?**

_Do you know why Sirius hasn't been calling me all sorts of ridiculous names?_

**Miss it?**

_No, it's just weird._

**Hmm…**

_Tell me you haven't noticed it._

**No, I have. **

_Do you know why?_

**Don't worry, I have it on good authority that he'll start again.**

_Well do you know why? He was almost avoiding me._

**I… I have an idea…**

_What? Did I do something to make him mad?_

**No, you didn't make him mad.**

_Well what is it then?_

**He was just… trying to prove something to me and Pete.**

_What?_

**Why do you care so much?**

_I'm just curious what. I could have helped him prove it._

**I mean the fact that he's not talking to you. And why do you want to help him, not us?**

_I don't like having my friend mad at me, or not speaking to me. You should know that by now._

**Hmm…so should he.**

_What does that mean? What's going on?_

**And the answer to my other question?**

_Answer mine and I'll answer yours._

**I'm just saying that he should have thought about you before trying to prove something stupid to me and Pete. Especially since nothing he did was going to change our minds.**

_What are you talking about?! What was he trying to prove to you?!_

**Nuh-uh. You answer mine now.**

_Will you answer mine after?_

**No, you answer one of my questions, I'll answer one of yours.**

_WHAT?!?! Since WHEN do we work like that!?!_

**Since I don't want to be hung from the Astronomy tower by my balls.**

_WHAT?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?_

**Never mind, just answer the question.**

_Isn't that how it works? 2 against 2? Since you and Pete are a team it's me and Sirius._

**Trust me, this wasn't something that you wanted to help prove.**

_(Between Remus and Sirius)_

Hey Moony-kins. How's Runes?

_you're talking to me again?_

*winces* Sorry. I was… being a prick.

_You think?_

Sorry.

_What were you trying to prove to James and Pete?_

Never mind. It's not important.

_If it's not important you can tell me!_

No I can't.

_Yes you can! I'm one of your best friends!_

That's why I can't tell you.

_But you can tell James and Pete._

Rem, it's just something I need to figure out, Ok?

_Yea, but still…_

James and Pete only know because they were being smart pricks.

Are we ok?

_No we are not ok! First you ignore me for __two weeks__ with __no__ warning, leaving me to analyse everything I said or did to see what I could have __possibly__ done to make you mad. __Then__ I talk to James and find out that you lot were trying to prove something that __none__ of you __bothered__ to include me in, and that I "wouldn't have wanted to help prove anyway". Then you start talking to me like nothing had happened. I bet you wouldn't have even mentioned it if I hadn't brought it p. Then you tell me its because of something I can't know __because__ I am one of your best friends, but that __both__ of your other best friends know, and they have been __told__ NOT to tell me, or they get strung from the ASTRONOMY TOWER by their BALLS!!!!!!!! __Then__ you expect us to be __OK__ just because you want us to be!!!_

Rem, I'm sorry. Really sorry.

_What were you trying to prove?_

…

please… don't make me answer that

_Fine. Why can't you tell me?_

It's… uh…

_Fine. Don't bother._

Really? Thankyou!

Remus?

Remus?

Remus!?

_Please stop trying to distract me Black. __Some__ people need to work._


	12. Personal Werewolf

DIVINATION/CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES/MUGGLE STUDIES:

_(between Sirius and Remus)_

Mr. Padfoot begs mr. Moony not to go near the Ravenclaw's for a while.

_Mr. Moony inquires as to why? He also inquires how mr. Padfoot is writing, as he is supposed to be in CoMC._

Mr. Padfoot is in CoMC. Mr. Padfoot is learning about werewolves, he does not need to take notes as he has his own, personal werewolf to quiz. This is why mr. Moony needs to stay away from the Ravenclaw's.

_Mr. Moony thanks mr. Padfoot for the warning, but would like to state that he is not property of mr. Padfoot. He would also like to state that mr. Padfoot probably knows more about werewolves then Professor Kettleburn._

Mr. Padfoot concurs, and discloses that the reason for this is that he has his own personal werewolf to quiz.

_Mr. Moony protests above statement. He has put together a list of why mr. Padfoot knows so much about werewolves:_

_The amount of books mr Padfoot has (and continues to) read on the subject._

_The amount of time mr. Padfoot has spent in the company of one (in human, wolf, and injured form)_

_The amount of time mr. Padfoot has spent in a similar form._

Mr. Padfoot would like to add another reason to mr. Moony's list: he has his own, personal werewolf to quiz.

_Mr. Moony denies all claims that he belongs to mr. Padfoot._

Mr. Padfoot wonders if mr. Moony would like mr. Padfoot to stop writing to him.

_Mr. Moony demands to know why._

Mr. Padfoot is familiar with how much mr. Moony loves Muggle Studies, and does not want to distract mr. Moony from his learning.

_Mr. Moony thanks mr. Padfoot for his consideration._

Right… talk to you later.

_Mr. Moony inquires as to why mr. Padfoot is not talking to mssrs. Prongs or Wormtail._

Mr. Padfoot would like to state that he hadn't tried, as he was busy communicating with his favourite werewolf.

_Mr. Moony inquires as to whether mr. Padfoot has done the lesson on how Muggles build houses._

Mr. Padfoot would like to state that he has. Also that he has satisfactory notes. Mr. Prongs was trying out the Lecture Quill, it worked a treat.

_Mr. Moony would like to inquire as to why he hasn't been informed of this._

Mr. Padfoot states in his defence that the quill exploded about 15 minutes from the end of the class. Mssrs. Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs decided not to inform mr. Moony of this fact, because they-

_Mr. Moony demands that mr. Padfoot finishes his sentence._

didn't feel like worrying mr. Moony?

_Mr. Moony raises his eyebrow._

didn't feel like a lecture and/or sleeping on the couches for a week.

_Mr. Moony inquires as to whether it is full moon tomorrow night._

Mr. Padfoot acquiesces.

_Mr. Moony would have chosen 'and'._

Mssrs. Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs know. That is why they didn't tell mr. Moony.

Mr. Padfoot apologises for offending mr. Moony.

_There is another reason mr. Padfoot knows so much about werewolves._

Mr. Padfoot inquires as to the fourth reason?

_mr. Padfoot has his own, personal werewolf to quiz._

_Mr. Moony wasn't offended._

Mr. Padfoot thanks mr. Moony. And apologises again.

_Mr. Moony insists mr. Padfoot doesn't need to. Mr. Moony would like to pay attention to class now…_

Mr. Padfoot sends his fondest wishes to mr. Moony, and will meet mr. Moony in his bed in the hospital wing in half an hour.

_Mr. Moony does not have a specific bed for him at the hospital wing. Mr. Padfoot is a prat. And Mr. Moony doesn't hurt himself that much._

Mr. Padfoot inquires as to whether mr. Moony would like some chocolate frogs or some chicken wings?

_Mr. Moony would like to tell mr. Padfoot where he can shove his chicken wings._

Mr. Padfoot is rubbing of on mr. Moony!

_Mr. Moony has only been mr. Padfoot's best friend for 4½ years. It's astounding that would have any effect on him at all._

Mr. Padfoot wishes mr. Moony's sarcasm would rub off on him.

_Mr. Moony bids mr. Padfoot a good class._

Mr. Padfoot is considering taking a leaf out of mr. Wormtail's box and drawing a stupid "goodbye! smiley face".

_Mr. Moony is glad that he doesn't._


	13. Planning Operation TMGBPGC

_**FRIDAY:**_

SPARE/CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES/MUGGLE STUDIES:

Peter threw himself on his bed and watched as James tried to find a comfortable yet intimidating place to sit.

That went on for several minutes.

Sensing the degradation of his spare period, Peter finally took the initiative and made a suggestion.

"You know, we could just leave it alone. I mean, Sirius obviously wants to do it in his own time."

James immediately stoped his pacing to stare incredulously at his mousy-haired friend.

"You don't _mean_ that do you?!"

"If you had accepted that strategy I would have thrown you off the Astronomy Tower, then into the Lake with squid food all over you to get you to work again."

"I have gotten more threats to do with the Astronomy Tower this week then I have in all my time at Hogwarts. Even Minnie threatened me with that the other day." Peter laughed and told James to just sit down so they could get on with it. The black-fuzzed boy finally turned a chair around and straddled it, resting his chin on his steepled fingers.

"No, seriously mate. What are we going to do?"

"I don't know Wormy!!!!! Our best mate has untouchable boy love for our other best friend!!!!!!! What do we do!!!!!!!!!"

"Give Sirius touchable boy love for our other best friend?" James jumped up and pumped Pete's hand up and down.

"Brilliant! Brilliant my good fellow! What a fine Marauder you make! Now the only question is 'How?'".

"Maybe we could-"

"But first we need a name!"

"Pete'n'Jim?"

"For the operation!"

"I can't think of one."

James made 'thinking noises' (or 'insufferably annoying and distracting snorts and grunts', as Remus liked to call them).

"I've got it! 'Operation Turn Padfoot's Untouchable Boy Love For Moony Into Touchable Boy Love For Moony By Making Moony Fall Into Touchable Boy Love For Padfoot', or Operation TPUBLFMITBLFMBMMFITBLFP for short!"

There was absolute silence as Peter stared at a triumphant and extremely proud James.

"Operation Puh-fil-mi-lif-mib-snort?"

"Okay… shorter name… shorter name…"

"_Why_ can't we just call it Operation Moony likes Padfoot?"

"Where's the creativity in that!"

"Mad and unpronounceable do not necessarily mean creative."

"Hmph! Operation Make Moony Love Padfoot? Nah, too boring…"

"Do you really think we should make them fall in love? I mean, it's a bit difficult to make anyone fall in love as well as change the way they swing, and this is Moony, not just anyone!"

"True… so we should split it up into two separate parts. Just turning him gay, then luring him into Paddy's charm."

"So… Operation Turn Moony Gay?"

"It's a good start, but it's a bit boring."

"Oh! Operation Turn Moony Gay Before Padfoot Goes Crazy! Or Operation T… M…"

"Operation TMGBPGC! I like it! Wormy, you're on fire today!" Peter was just staring at James in awe. The letter thing had that effect on some, well, most, people.

"So what are we going to do? I really liked that idea you had about planting the idea into his head. I've even thought about it a bit more! Here's what we're going to do!"

After listening to James plan, Peter was dubious at best.

"When are we going to do it?"

"I was thinking the next Hogsmeade weekend."

"That's only a week away."

"Yea?"

"Isn't part of the pl-" Here he was cut off by James' glare. "I mean, Operation TMG-B-P-GC, isn't part of it that Sirius doesn't guess what he's up to?"

"Yea, but you know what his memory's like! And we'll be subtle."

"Okay, but, it doesn't sound very subtle to me-"

"Don't worry, it is."

"Okay, okay."

"Now we can't discuss this any more, Moon and Pads will be coming out of class soon, and they _can't know_."

"I know. My balls do not need to be stretched so much I snap off straight into the mouth of an angry werewolf."

Both boys shuddered at the thought before fleeing to the Great Hall to meat the other two members of the Marauders. And both boys were anticipating the next Hogsmeade weekend greatly, no matter what their reservations were.


	14. Guys are cool too

_**SATURDAY:**_

HOGSMEADE:

The four boys trotted merrily down the main street of Hogsmeade, chatting about whatever caught their fancy. After about fifteen minutes of these (surprisingly) normal actions, one of the quadruplets decided that enough time had passed for his actions to seem innocent, and decided to commence with the plan that will sabotage his poor, unsuspecting friends' lives. That's right, Operation TMGBPGC was about to begin.

James winked at Peter before nudging Remus (not-so) gently in the ribs.

"_He's_ got a nice ass!"

Peter blinked. Sirius stared*. Remus rubbed his ribs.

"Moving on."

James was despondent. His plan had not been going well at all. Every attempt he made to try to get Remus to notice other blokes was ignored or passed off as a joke. He supposed that his subtle attempts weren't getting through to his lycanthropic friend. It was time to up the ante.

As Remus and Sirius entered the pub, a certain brown-eyed marauder rubbed his hands together with an attempt at a diabolical expression on his face.

"Time to commence Operation TMGBPGC"

"_How_ do you remember that many letters?"

"It's a skill Wormy old boy."

"A freakish mutation more like." They watched as Sirius set down a Butterbeer in front of Remus and started gesturing enormously.

"You ready?"

"Yea." James flipped him a few Knuts.

"Grab me a Butterbeer and sit down."

James sat with his friends just when Sirius was making an exceptionally large hand gesture, which both hit James and knocked over his bottle of Butterbeer. Remus started laughing at the expression on his face, shoved his bottle in front of the doggy boy and cleaned up the spill with a quick _evanesco_.

Peter arrived with three bottles, but quickly hid one when he saw his friends sharing. He then caught James' eye and winked.

Amos Diggory was well-liked, well-respected, and very handsome. The only more sought after bloke at school was Sirius, but Amos was known for letting the girls down easy. He was also leaving at the end of the year, and was decidedly open-minded. One of the third-year girls dropped her bag of Honeydukes sweets, and as Amos leant down to help her pick them up the Marauders were awarded with a _very_ nice view of his arse.

A loud wolf-whistle rent the air, and Amos straightened up to look for the source. His eyes found the way to the Marauders' table, where Remus was staring at James with a look of astonishment on his face, who directed the exact same back before saying loudly:

"Amos Diggory?" Sirius looked livid, and Peter was trying to comply with the plan and convey a shocked look at Remus.

Because of the way the table was facing, the rest of the pub saw the back of James' head, half of Sirius' face looking at James, an astonished look coming from Remus, and the least noticed of the Marauders staring at Remus, before hearing James exclaim those two fateful words.

Amos Diggory glanced at the third-year before rising and walking over to the Marauders' table, where James was trying to control a (mostly unseen) smug expression.

That was before he got tapped on the shoulder. His whole mien changed to one of shock and he turned to face Amos with the general air of one walking towards his eternal doom.

"Potter, James, I'm really… look, I'm just… I don't swing that way. I'm really sorry, and if I did then I probably would go out with you, but I don't, and-" Poor James was nodding along frantically, utterly mortified.

"But isn't it who you fall in love with that matters, not the gender? Why should you discriminate by sex, I mean, it's essentially cutting your chances of finding your one true love in half! For all you know, James could be The One, and you'd never know because you refused him this one date because he's male! I mean-"

"Sirius, if Dig- Amos wants to refuse James this date because he's a guy, then that's really his choice, and-"

"So you're saying that you are prepared to watch Amos break James' heart simply because they're both guys, huh? Some friend you are Pete. I can't. Look Amos, is there anything-"

"Sirius, it's fine. Honestly, I'll, I'll get over it!" By this point Amos was looking decidedly uncomfortable, Sirius was sitting with a sadistic smirk on his face, both James and Peter were panicking, and Remus was stiff, hollow-cheeked, and wide-eyed, trying to figure out what in the world was going on.

"Look, I can set you up with someone I know, I'm sure he wouldn't mind-"

"No, no, it's fine, I don't need-"

"But James would mind-"

"No I don't think he would-"

"Actually, he would mind, very very much. You know if it can't be Amos then it can't be anyone-"

"But James, you need to get out there-"

"No-" It was at this point that Remus mouthed "Go!" to Amos Diggory, and the boy gladly took his leave, but not without a parting shot from Sirius.

"Look, I'll get in touch with you about this date for James!"

"Sirius, you are a wanker!"

Remus cleared his throat, and Peter, James and Sirius looked reluctantly at him.

"I am going to get another Butterbeer. I will take my time. When I come back I will hear your explanation."

The boys looked at each other.

"Um…"

"We can just say Prongs was being an unmitigated wanker."

"If you do I will tell him the real reason."

"If you do you will not be having children. And I will make the process as painful as possible."

"Look, Evans is over there-"

"_Evans_ is here!? Oh _merl_-"

"How d' you feel now, pri-"

"You _knew_!! You _knew_ and you-"

"Listen, we can say James whistled at Evans and Diggory thought it was him."

"That theory is so full of holes, Worm."

"Every theory except the truth will be full of holes."

"Can't we just say that Prongs lost temporary control of his brain cells?"

"Look, Moony's coming, what do you want to do?"

"Whistled at Evans, got it."

"Sirius-"

"Fine. James whistled at Evans."

*at James.

The wolf-whistling and Diggory's offer to set James up with a friend came from my brother, so thank him all or you would not have this chapter today!

I really do apologise for not having this up sooner, I have no excuse save writers block and the fact that it's holidays and I really want to do nothing but lie in bed and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! (and read Fanfiction). Please forgive me? And my 3week absence before that was because I was visiting rellies and had not my story with me. You should be getting a few chapters before the 27th though, so I hope that makes up for it.


	15. Pads, I'm scared

After the Hogsmeade trip things had shifted between the Marauders. Sirius was speaking to neither Peter or James, and Remus had withdrawn from everyone, spending copious amounts of time in the library, various classrooms, outside and in rarely-used corridors. Needless to say, he very quickly ran out of assignments, essays, homework and lines.

Monday arrived and with it a very attentive Remus Lupin.

_**MONDAY:**_

DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS:

_(between Remus and Sirius)_

Moon? You've been really quiet.

_It's nothing, I'm just concentrating on the lesson._

Moon please.

_It's just…_

Rem.

_It's nothing._

Stop it Remus! Something is up and I want to know what! I'm your friend.

_I just… look, what was Saturday about?_

Rem…

_And don't insult my intelligence by bringing up that Evans crap._

James and Pete-

_You were in on it too Sirius. I was the only one who had no idea what was going on._

No look, it's just… what do you think Saturday was about?

_I don't know! It's like you're all playing a prank on me! You all-_

No! Stop! Think about it, when was the last time we played a prank on you!? On any of us!?

_I-_

Tell me what you think. I know that you've already analysed it and come up with at least one conclusion, no matter how far-fetched. Just tell me.

_Alright. It was like James and Pete were planning something, and you weren't happy about it, and tried to sabotage it or something, but you still knew what it was! And you had to come up with an excuse for me! We're drifting apart Pads. You three have a secret, and I can live with that, but it's a big one and, it's obviously about me, and-_

How do you get that?

_Because I know all of you Pads. It's, I just know._

I'm sorry, you weren't done.

_We fought. It's not even the Christmas holidays, and you and I have fought, and you've fought with Peter and James, and… we never fight. Not seriously._

I…

_Look, I'm not stupid, you've said it yourself a hundred times. I know it's the secret._

I will tell you, I just can't now. I'm really sorry, but-

_It's fine. If you like I'll stay out of your way until you feel comfortable with telling me-_

It's not that I don't feel comfortable. I'm more myself around you then anyone, it's just… hard to admit. I swear, if you try to stay out of my way I will handcuff myself to you.

_Thanks Pads. I just, it's like James and Pete have gotten closer, but you've split off from them, but you're all connected because you know something so important, but then I'm just off in the middle of nowhere, and…_

Don't interrupt?

_Okay._

Pete figured out something I was in denial about at the beginning of the year, and then confronted me about it, and to prove him wrong I… well I stopped speaking to you for a bit, remember?

_I thought James was a part of that?_

Not then, but then I figured out Pete was right, well, in the middle of Transfig.

_The I Do thing? Oops, sorry._

Yea, and 'tis fine. Anyway James tricked what it was about out of me, and then Pete figured out what it was about and asked if James knew, and I said yes, and they wanted me to do something about it but I said no, and then they said they'd do something about it and I said no, and then they said they wouldn't and convinced me to start talking to you again, 'cause it was really pointless. I'm still really sorry about that.

_It's fine._

Okay. But then James and Pete went ahead and did it anyway, only I didn't realise immediately because I didn't know exactly what they were going to do and they said they wouldn't anyway, so now I'm quite a bit pissed with them.

_And that's it?_

Yea. I'm really sorry.

_So Saturday was just them acting up?_

Uh, yea, basically.

_Saturday was pretty funny, if a bit terrifying._

Terrifying?

_Two of the straightest guys I know pointing out attractive features on other guys? Spending a grand total of ten minutes in Zonko's instead of the entire afternoon? And wolf-whistling at Amos Diggory? Yea, it was a bit scary._

Haha, Jim's face was so funny when he tapped him on the shoulder!

_Yea, and when you kept trying to set them up…_

Ha! And he had no idea that Evans was there!

_Yes, I could see the exact moment he realised that his 'Fire-bird' had seen his utter humiliation._

His face looked like old, lumpy porridge didn't it!

_It was quite the picture, wasn't it._

Moony…

_Yes Pads?_

You have to use at least one Exclamation Point in excitement before the bell goes…

_Hah! I loved it when Pete tried to point out how well Malfoy's sweater accentuated his shoulders, and then almost threw up when he realised who it was!_

I didn't see that!

_Oh yea, you were in Honeydukes with James. Thanks for the Best* by the way._

Only the best Best* for our Rem-Cakes!

_You must be feeling better. Hey, did you notice how Pete bought an extra Butterbeer for you, then hid it when he saw you swigging mine?_

Nope, or I would have demanded it. I wonder if he still has it…

_I don't think so mate, he and Jim love Butterbeer too much. I'd be surprised if it lasted the rest of the Hogsmeade trip._

Ah well, now he owes me a Butterbeer.

_You do realise that it was with his money that he bought the extra, don't you._

Yea, so?

_So he doesn't owe you anything!_

He drank my Butterbeer!

_But it wasn't yours because he hadn't given it to you!_

HAHA! Four exclamation points before the bell rang! Count 'em! FOUR!!!!

_Good job Padfoot. I'm very proud for you._

"James, Pete, I made Remus use FOUR exclamation points!"

"Really!? Good Job!"

"I don't not show my emotions _that_ much."

"You do in notes."

And arguing jokingly, the four friends made it down to lunch, where copious amounts of food were waiting to be flung.

*Honeydukes Best - chocolate


	16. I saw Moony in the shower!

_**WEDNESDAY:**_

MUGGLE STUDIES/ANCIENT RUNES:

_(between Sirius and James)_

**Shit Pads, were the fuck were you!**

What?

**Don't fucking 'what' me, you know exactly what I'm talking about!**

Look, I don't see how it matters to you!

**You weren't there when we got up, you didn't turn up to breakfast, you weren't in History of Magic, we couldn't find you anywhere at break, and you turn up ****half an hour late**** for Muggle Studies! Me and Pete've been worried sick, and you had the fucking map so we couldn't even look for you!**

Map's not complete. And I didn't have it. Was Rem not worried?

**TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK YOU WERE BEFORE I BEAT IT OUT OF YOU!!!!**

Sitting on a stairwell. 6th floor.

**From before 6 this morning?! You didn't say anything to ****anyone****!!! You-**

Not from before 6. Moony gets up at 6, but he's usually out of the shower by the time I'm up.

**THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING!!!!**

Actually, that has everything to do with everything.

**You!!! You- saw Moony in the shower?**

Yes.

**And that's why you've been sitting on a stairwell from 6 this morning?**

More 6.30.

…

**Why?**

Prongs, I saw Moony in the shower!

**So?**

Moony! In shower!

**I repeat: So?**

How would you be if you saw Evans in the shower!?!

Alright, stop drooling now. But I think I got my point across!

Well, except that I know I can never have him, and you've at least got a shot with Evans.

**You really think so!?!? Um, I mean, Pads, of course you've got a chance with Moony.**

Yes, you do. No, I don't.

**No, Pads, seriously. Moony actually likes you.**

Yea, as a friend! And he's so… perfect, and beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous. And he's sweet, and kind, and generous, and puts others first… though I'd rather he put himself first, but then he wouldn't be Moony, y'know?

**Yea mate, I know.**

But then I think, hell, who am I kidding. It's Moony. And I'm Sirius Black.

**Is that what you've been doing since 6.30? Sitting on a stairwell and thinking that you're never going to have Moony?**

Um, yea. Until McGonagall busted me and sent me to class. And look how right I was, Moony couldn't even be arsed caring that I hadn't turned up.

**Yea, that might be because me and Pete kept making excuses for you.**

Huh?

**He was frantic when you weren't there when we woke up, we kept saying, maybe he went to breakfast early, you know Padfoot, always thinking with his stomach!**

Yea, whatever.

**So he was the first one down there, and met us halfway up the stairs to the Entrance Hall all flappy 'cause you weren't there.**

Seriously Prongs, stop.

**It's the truth mate. So we were all, oh that's right! He had a meeting with our Muggle Studies teacher, didn't hand in the last piece of homework. Still, he was really anxious.**

Prongs…

**And when you didn't show up for break? We had to say that you went to Muggle Studies early for a demi-detention, and then had to practically drag him away from the classroom.**

Really?

**Yea mate! He was awful. So you have to go to lunch, and apologize for being inconsiderate, and feed him up, and sit next to him, and make him laugh… you know, an ordinary day's lunch?**

Haha, whatever. You really think…

**Mate, out of everyone in the school, there is no one more suited for him.**

And out of school?

**I really don't think so.**

Ugh. I'm sorry. I'm-

…

… **Padfoot?**

**Padfoot?**

**Mate, you okay?**

I was acting like you.

**Mate, you alright? You look like your about to faint.**

I was acting like how you act when Evans rejects you!!!! HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!

**OI!**

SAAAAAAAAVVVVVEEEEEEE MMEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! SAVE ME FROM UNWANTED SOPPINESS!!!!!

**OI!!! I'm not that bad!!**

Oh, Merlin, WHAT AM I ASKING YOU FOR!!!!! PETE!!! SAVE ME!!!!!

_(to Sirius)_Dude, why are you waving at me from across the room? And where were you!?

_(to Peter)_SSSSAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEE MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_(to Peter)_**Sirius-**

_(to Peter)_SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEE

_(to Peter)_**just spent the last-**

_(to Peter)_MMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

_(to Peter)_**6 hours-**

(to Peter)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_(to Peter)_**sitting on a stairwell being soppy.**

_(to James)_oh. So basically acting like you?

_(to Peter)_**OI!**


	17. Bet your broomstick

Weeks after that the boys were enjoying a balmy lunch outside. They had successfully resolved their difficulties – James only after a date with Cedric Diggory's very male friend. Unfortuantly James was getting bored, and Sirius (after many hours of contemplation) had thought of a question he simply had no answer to.

_**THURSDAY:**_

LUNCH – NEXT TO THE LAKE:

"So Moon-Star –"

"Only in notes Sirius."

"Fine, _Remus_, why aren't you with anyone."

"Huh!?"

"Well, James is mooning over Evans –"

"HEY!"

"Don't even bother denying it, you're goddamn obsessed."

"Wow, a word with over two syllables, I'm impressed Sirius!"

"Shut it Remus. As I was saying, Jamie-boy's got Evans –"

"Not yet."

"No Pete, not yet."

"I will soon!"

"Sure you will Jamie-boy. But anyway, he's not a saint –"

"OI!"

" – in fact he's gotten with as many birds as I have –"

"I have not!"

"– and Merlin knows I've got more then enough girls –"

"No-ones disputing that Sirius. OW!"

"Stop interrupting. So me and Jamie've gotten with birds, even Pete's had a girlfriend or four –"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it means Pete. So what about you?"

"You know, Sirius' got a point there. I've never seen you with a bird."

"Thank you James."

"I'm not interested." By this point Remus had returned to reading. This was not a conversation he wished to engage in.

"What, not even a crush?" Now all the Marauders were fully engaged in the conversation.

"Hmph."

"There's not one bird in the whole of Hogwarts that you are even the teeniest bit interested in?"

"No, James, there are no birds in Hogwarts I am remotely interested in."

There was a long silence as the three boys tried to gauge the honesty in their friend's reaction. Finally Peter spoke.

"He's telling the truth!"

"Not one bird?"

"I guess he just hasn't grown up."

"Sirius, his voice broke before ours did –"

"AND he's 15 –"

"I can hear you. I'm still here."

"AND I caught him wanking off last night –"

"_**WHAT!!!!!!**_" Shouted three voices simultaneously, disturbing the relative peace near the lake. A book lay forgotten as four teens surged to their feet.

"JAMES!!!! WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!?!?!"

"YOU WERE WANKING OFF?!?!?!?!?!?"

"YOU, MOONY?!?!?!?!?"

"YOU WERE SPYING ON ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"**SHUT UP!"**

Silence was imminent.

"Remus I wasn't spying on you, I needed to go to the toilet."

"Fuck."

"Moony-kins!!!!! You just swore!!!!!!!"

"ONLY IN NOTES SIRIUS!!!!"

"Who were you wanking off to?"

"Pete, just because I'm not interested in any birds doesn't mean I can't 'wank'. I think you'll find that Sirius doesn't wank off to Hogwarts girls, and who do you wank off to?"

"Models."

"Exactly. And I know that James wanks off to Evans."

"So you're really not interested in any of the birds at Hogwarts?"

"No Pete, I'm really not. We better go, we have Transfiguration."

As Remus retrieved his book and Peter grabbed him and started quizzing him on tips to transfigure a pincushion into a hedgehog, James and Sirius lagged behind, and if you listened really closely it was possible to hear this conversation:

"So who _do_ you wank off to Pads?"

"I think you know who I wank off to, and you can bet your broomstick it's not Hogwarts girls."

"You got it bad mate, you got it bad."


	18. MoonBlossom

TRANSFIGURATION

Hey Moon-Star!

_Go away. Where's the 4-way?_

Pete took it!

_Go away._

No!

_Fine, tell me what you want. __Then__ go away._

Don't be like that…

_Go away._

As Sirius started scribbling a reply, Professor McGonagall looked up to see him writing long after everyone else had stopped. She swooped down and snatched the paper out of his hand.

"Thankyou mr. Black." Professor McGonagall proceeded to read the not to the class.

"But Blossom, I figured out what you meant! About not liking snogging the birds at Hogwarts (not that you'd know, you've never snogged one) but anyway, you're-" Professor McGonagall crumpled up the note. By this point both Remus and Sirius were an interesting shade of red, Peter was choking on his laughter, James was almost rolling on the floor, and the rest of the class were confused, curious, or laughing at the Marauders expressions.

"Now as interesting as this topic may be, I would rather you didn't discuss it in my class! 10 points from Gryffindor. Settle down all of you."

"Professor?"

"Yes Potter?"

"Does it really say 'Blossom'?"

"Yes Potter, it does. Settle down!" James and Peter were now encased by helpless fits of laughter. Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes and banished them to the corridor until they could control their laughter. After about 10 minutes they had calmed down enough to return. Random fits of giggles punctuated the lesson though. While the boys were outside, Sirius turned to Remus – who was deliberately avoiding looking at him – and mouthed one word. Remus replied with bright red cheeks, an ashamed/scared look and a sharp jerk of the head. Possibly a nod. Sirius leaned back in his chair with a satisfied and (strangely) happy look on his face.

The first thing James did after returning from the corridor was throw a note at Sirius.

**Blossom?**

It says Moon-Blossom.

James replied with a giggle and a picture of a wolf howling at a full moon with roses around him, and a young boy with long black hair bowing the worship bow. Professor McGonagall saw this note being passed and snatched it up, scowling. When she looked at it her scowl became more pronounced.

"Potter, Lupin, Black, Pettigrew stay behind. 10 points off Gryffindor. Any more notes and it'll be 50."


	19. 50 points each

After Class

"Professor, we're going to be late to Defence Against the Dark Arts." Professor McGonagall nodded to indicate she had heard.

"Pettigrew, I assume you know too?"

"About what, Professor?" The Transfiguration Professor showed them the note James had sent.

"Uhm…"

"I'll take that as a yes. While I am very glad that you did not let this come between you, and that you can even joke about it, if you want to keep his secret this is not a note you should be passing around. Do you have any idea what would happen if his-"

"Furry little problem?" Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow.

"Thankyou Potter. What would happen if it-"

"Was discovered? We have a slight idea. Don't worry, it won't happen again. Will it James?"

"No Sirius… no Professor. Sorry Remus, for nearly exposing your secret and all…"

"That's enough. You can go. But be careful."

"Professor, we've known since 1st year. We're not going to tell anyone." Professor McGonagall looked into Peter Pettigrew's wide, imploring eyes. Then looked into the orbs belonging to Sirius Black, then James Potter's. All three wore identical expressions. Then she looked at the werewolf being discussed. His head hung down, his fringe over his eyes. He glanced up at her and a smile tugged at his mouth. She could tell how much this acceptance meant to him, these three boys who would do anything to protect his secret. Anything to protect him.

"Go. Thankyou. And… 50 points to Gryffindor. Each."

* * *

Sorry about my absence - again DX - this time I've had internet problems - i.e., I have (had?) none. Really sorry.

This last chapter and the one before were originally part of the same chapter (that's why they're so short), but I just really want to make them two different chapters.

Again, sooo sorry, but thank you for all the reviews!!! (I could get those, my school internet lets emails through, but has blocked)


	20. Don't tell

DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS:

So?

_So…_

Are you?!

_I think I've answered that._

Really?

_Yes._

Really really?

_Yes._

Really really reeaaly really?

_For the last time: YES!_

Wow, snarky much!

_Black…_

Ouch, that hurt.

Oh please don't give me that Look…

_I'm not giving you a "Look"._

Yes you are, it's the gritty teeth one, you grit your teeth and look away and go all brave and manly on me.

_Brave and manly?_

You try really hard not to cry.

_I don't cry anyway!_

Exactly, you try not to!

_I'm not trying not to cry!_

Now you're not! I distracted you!

_Yes that's right, congratulate yourself on a job not done._

I think you need to look at your sayings some more, I'm pretty sure it's "a job well done".

_Except when it's not._

Aww, now you're sulking!

_I am not!_

So are you really?

_YES!!!!!_

I never understood why Pete always feels it necessary to draw lines under his words.

_His writing's really messy, he draws the lines to keep it straight. Besides, without them we'd never tell you and Pete apart, your writing's so similar._

Mmmm… but it's so much effort. You'd better hope I stay too lazy to make my writing neat.

_Somehow I really don't think we need to worry._

Nope… hey! My writing is neat!

_Sure._

At least it's better then yours, mr. my writing's so slanted it's running sideways. At least I had a tutor.

_And you promptly discarded any semblance of aristocracy, including elegant handwriting, when you got sorted into Griffindor._

True. My natural handwriting looks a lot like Worm, doesn't it.

_You mean Worm's._

No, it actually looks like him.

… _further evidence that Sirius Black should be in that special Mungo's ward._

You're just grumpy 'cause I was right!

_No, I'm grumpy 'cause the only thing you can do with the information is strut around, insanely proud you figured it out._

Why are you so upset about it?

_I'm not upset._

Yes you are. You're using really long and flowery sentences, you have that face, you're unnaturally grumpy and it's no where near your PMSing time.

_It's not PMSing._

Yes it is. Although it should be called PAPMSing

… _do I even want to know?_

Pre- and Post Moon Syndrome.

Hey, no changing the subject!

_I didn't. You did._

C'mon, you know you want to tell me…

_I have no idea what you're talking about._

Yes you do.

_Ugh, fine._

…

Poke.

_I'm just not ready for people to know yet._

Why?

_Look at how you reacted! You couldn't believe it._

Really? I didn't think I did.

_Huh!?_

I didn't think I was acting weird.

_Actually, you really weren't, that's how you react to everything._

Ok!

_But still, you couldn't stop asking about it!_

Are you really?

_YES!!!! See? CASE PROVED!_

Say it.

_Huh?_

Say it and I'll stop asking.

…

…

…

…

_Padfoot… I'm gay._

REALLY!!! THAT'S SO AWESOME!!!!

_See, look at how you're reacting!_

That's only because I find it interesting! I've never had a gay friend before!

_And what about Peter and James._

Nah, they won't find it that interesting. They've both got gay friends. Or a gay friend.

… _is that common knowledge?_

Nah, don't think so.

_And how do you know?_

Just came up. Several times.

_What were you talking about? Anal sex?_

Well, no, not yet…

_Look, just, can you please not tell?_

Sure! You can be my gay friend!

_I'm still James and Pete's gay friend._

Yea but they don't know, so it doesn't count! Now we all have a gay friend!!!

_I don't._

Yea, but you're gay, so that's ok!

_Rhyme._

So, gay friend-

_You're still going to call me Remus._

I've never called you Remus!

_Fine, all your freaky nicknames for me. Not "gay friend"._

Fine. Now, about dinner…

_You do realise that Defence finished ages ago, don't you._

Is that why I'm so hungry?

_It is absolutely astounding how absorbed you get in tasks._

Why are you still here then!

_Because I wanted to see how long it took you._

Well why'd you tell me!

_I'm hungry._

Well why are we still talking on the 4-way!

"Because you're an idiot."


	21. Pranks gone wrong

Ugh, I am so, so sorry. I had so much schoolwork, then I went on camp and I had even more, then I had no internet for about a month, then I got banned from using the computer... I am so sorry!

And this chapter really didn't come out like I thought it would, so it screws around with my next chapter.

Oh, and there is no more major swearing (or there shouldn't be) and if there is I promise I will put up a warning!

_**TUESDAY:**_

CHARMS:

Can you tell Rem I'm sorry?

**No, I can't believe you did that!**

It was your idea!

Uh, no it wasn't.

Yes!! It was!!!

**No it wasn't!**

Yes! You said "what would it be like if-

**Yea, but you're the one who came up with the oh-so-brilliant idea of DOING it!**

Seriously mate, how idiotic can you get?

YOU TWO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TOO!!!!!!!!!

**That was before you went and got caught! What the hell were you thinking!?**

YOU WERE DOING IT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, but we didn't get caught.

The only reason I got caught was because YOU didn't tell me that Rem was coming!

**So? You still got caught, and we didn't.**

I am so glad we didn't tell Rem we were going to do it.

Why!? He's one of the Marauders, he's done worse things with us!!

**Mate, you had to sleep on the couch last night, and Pete and I are guilty by association.**

Did you see how mad he was?

Yes, but if we'd TOLD him and he didn't like it he could have stopped us!

**We would have still done it.**

Or we would have refined it until he did like it!!!

Or grudgingly went along with it!

I can't believe you just left me!

**Well Rem hadn't seen us, and he looked absolutely furious.**

_What kind of Marauders are you._

Huh?

Uh, hi Remmy…

_You leave one of your fellows out of a prank, then ditch another. I believe that violates several of the rules that __you__, James Potter, came up with. Hi Pads._

**Uh…**

_That's it? That's all you have to say for yourself? Uh?_

**Well, the thing is…**

You're so right. Sirius I'm really sorry.

Um…

_I'm really sorry Sirius. I didn't know, not that that's really an excuse._

It's fine Remmy.

**Hey, what about us!?**

_What about you?_

**We said we were sorry too!**

_Actually, you didn't. Pettigrew did._

*gulp*

**Well I'm saying it now.**

Erm…

_Sirius, are you going to forgive these lowlifes?_

Um…

**Mate! We're you best friends!!**

Yea, we kinda ditched him.

**Who's side are you on!?**

I'm the impartial party.

_You're not impartial! You're the one who came up with the idea of leaving me out, and you LEFT A FELLOW MARAUDER WHEN HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO GET IN TROUBLE!!! THAT'S NOT IMPARTIAL!!!!!_

**WE SAID SORRY!!!!!!**

_LEFT a fellow MARAUDER!!!!!_

_(To Sirius)_Is he referring to us leaving him out or to us leaving you behind?

_(To Peter)_Both, I think.

**SHUT UP!**

_Pads, are you really going to forgive him?_

**HE FORGAVE YOU!!!**

_I am so sorry Pads, you're absolutely right! I shouldn't have condemned you immediately!!! I should have listened to your side of the story!!! I'm so sorry!!!!_

_(To Peter)_So I'm pretty much screwed either way.

_(To Sirius)_Rofl. Is it just me or is this completely…bizarre?

_(To Peter)_Uh-huh. But it is moon tomorrow.

_(To Sirius)_Yea, but James should know that.

_(To Peter)_Are they throwing things at each other?

_(To Sirius)_Yes- Oh! Pleasedon'thitFlitwickpleasedon'thitFlitwickpleasedon-

_(To Peter)_SCORE!

_SIRIUS!  
_**SIRIUS!**

*gulp*

same as Worm

_Do you, or don't you forgive that buffoon._

**Forgive ME! What about forgiving HIM!!**

Uh…

_(To Sirius)_Good luck.

I'll, uh… I'll…

Ooh! I'll forgive you both when you forgive each other!

_(To Sirius)_Nice. Now you've got them both on you.

_(To Peter)_Bugger.

_Forgive us-_

**-when we forgive each other?**

Uhm…

**Mr. Prongs begs the attention of mr. Moony.**

_Mr. Moony acquiesces mr. Prongs' request._

**Mr. Prongs believes that mr. Padfoot needs to be taken down a peg or six.**

_Mr. Moony agrees almost completely with mr. Prongs. He only inquires as to why mr. Prongs is limiting himself to six._

You're both forgiven! Bell gone, got to go!


	22. Phallic to feminine

It had been a few weeks since Remus had forgiven Sirius for pulling a prank without him, and James and Peter for trying to pin all the blame on the Black heir. In that time Remus had become more edgy and withdrawn. It was barely noticeable, but Remus knew it was there, knew what caused it, and was quite sick of it.

_**MONDAY:**_

HISTORY OF MAGIC/ANCIENT RUNES:

_(Between Remus and James)_

_James?_

**I'M SO BORED!**

_That's… great._

**What's wrong?**

_Nothing, I'm just… here for your entertainment._

**Really, what's wrong?**

_You-_

_Pads said you had a friend who was gay?_

**Um… yea?**

_So, you're not- you don't-_

**I'm not a homophobe, if that's what you're asking. And I don't think it's weird. What about you? Do you think it's sick and depraving?**

_No… a little?_

**Why? What's wrong with liking someone who has the same bits as you?**

_No one!_

**Huh?**

_Nothing! Nothing's wrong with it!_

**No one? What?**

_Nothing! Nothing._

**Why did you say no one?**

_Uhm… I didn't- I mean-_

**Why are you getting froopy? Quit being un-Moony-like!**

_It's just- I mean- It's good-_

**Just spit it out! It's me!**

_You know all those unfinished sentences I've been saying this year? Or writing?_

…**sure…**

_Do you pay __any__ attention?_

**No! I know what you're talking about!**

…_okay. Well, I've been trying to tell you something… pretty much all year._

**Yea? Honestly, you can tell me!**

_No, I know. It's just… hard._

**Is it some werewolf thing? 'Cause I really don't think we'll be surprised. Sirius probably knows more about you then you do!**

…_thanks._

**You know what I mean, what with all the reading Sirius has done and stuff!**

_Yea, Sirius might just be the problem._

…

_It's just- I think- well, I don't think, I know, but anyway-_

**JUST SPIT IT OUT!**

…_I think, well, I know-_

**Remus.**

_I'm… I think- KNOW, know, I __know__ that I'm… I'm not attracted to… curves?_

…**you're not attracted to curves.**

_Uhm… no?_

**You do realise that is absolutely useless, don't you.**

_Yea…_

**So you going to tell me what you meant by that?**

…_I prefer phallic to feminine?_

**Say it in teenage-real-person speak!**

_So you mean… like Sirius?_

**Yea, say it like Pads would say it!**

…_I like cock._

**You could have just said "I like guys" ages ago.**

_Hey, it's kind of a big thing for me! I'm already a… you know, I don't have to be… __that__ as well!_

**You can't even say the words.**

_Yes I can!_

**Go on then.**

_Werewolf, homosexual._

**And how long did it take you to write those two words?**

_Shut up._

**Now say you are!**

_No!_

**Come on! You can't can you!**

_I- fine. Homosexual werewolf. I am a homosexual werewolf._

**See! That wasn't so hard was it!**

_Yea, this last period has been a trip through the roses!_

**So who do you like?**

…_what?_

**When I said what's wrong with liking someone who has a cock when you have one, you said "No one!" so obviously there is someone!**

_So now when I say something it means the opposite?_

**Only when you say it when I was asking another question. It's- oh Merlin.**

_What?_

**It's- oh it all makes sense! The conversation by the lake, the wanking, you CHECKING OUT DIGGORY'S BUTT!!!!! You- oh. oh. oh.**

_I never checked out Diggory's butt!_

**Oh.**

_Oh what?_

**You're- oh.**

_James, please!_

**You're- are you… in love?**

_Uhm… why- what- why would you think that!?_

**Near the beginning of the year… you said I didn't know what love is…**

_HOW do you REMEMBER that!?!?_

**I KNEW you were lying!!! I KNEW it!!!!!!**

_It's… it's just-_

**Who? Whowhowhowhowho?**

_I-_

**Look, the bell's going in, like, 2 seconds, so you can tell me now, in private, or at dinner, where everyone can listen in.**

_I- no- I-_

**Re-**

_Sirius!_


End file.
